Isa 43:4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.
I have always known this scripture talks about the depth and height of God’s love for me. I also attended a church where we believed so much in the love of God. There we always rejoice, give thanks and proclaim that GOD LOVES US. But this story I am about to share with you, is my experience on how the love of God pulled me out of rejection and depression.
In my workplace, I had observed malicious attitudes from my colleagues towards me. I knew that people were talking about me but I couldn’t understand why. I try my best to love and to mind my own business. I don’t get involved with their talks and malicious discussions about people.
Personally, I hate to gossip and give malicious comments about people. I hate to get involved in discussions where people magnify the issues they go through in life, talk less of their achievements, and speak faithlessly about life. So, at a point I began to feel that was the reason why they didn’t like me.
I was very surprised when I was handed a letter of compulsory leave by my boss that cold Thursday morning. She called me to her office. Then she spoke coldly to me. She didn’t sound nice at all. She said she loved my attitude to work but the complaints she had received about me were getting too much. She advised that she would like me to use the period of this compulsory leave to learn how to relate well with people if I still wanted to be a staff of the company.
It felt as if I had been knocked down. I left feeling sad, rejected and confused because I didn’t understand why she and every other person had a bad perception about me.
I didn’t go home. Rather, I decided to go to the beach to reflect for a while.
Actually, that wasn’t the first time that I have been rejected by people. In short, it has happened several times. One moment, people accept me and another moment all people get to see me are faults. The same faults they would have overlooked for someone else is the same fault that they would beat me up for.
I had been ignoring all these for a while. Just because of this issue of people talking bad about me, I have changed jobs severally. I don’t have friends and so on. It seemed to me like I wasn’t good enough for people because, the more I try to be accepted by people, the more people lock me out and treat me like their enemy.
I needed a solution to this. But right there at the beach, I felt like giving up on living my life. But I rebuked the feeling and went home. Truly, I wasn’t happy but I spent the rest of the day praying about the situation. I asked God to help me. I felt hated, rejected, unloved etc.. I asked Him to help out in regards to how bad I was feeling emotionally and also help me regarding the situation.
So the next day, I felt the courage to call one of my colleagues to speak with her concerning the issue. Apparently, she’s the only one who relates a lot better with me.
At first she didn’t want to speak about it. But eventually, she agreed to come out clean. She explained to me how everyone had complained about me. And by the time she was done, I realised that people had been seeing something else and not me. They had been seeing someone else and not me.
What happens is, someone could just see me and see a proud and arrogant lady without having to really know me. Because of that, anything I do is then mis-interpreted as being proud or arrogant even when it had nothing to do with it. On realizing this, no one needed to inform me that I had to pull down every negative perception or identity that Satan has clothed me with. I just knew that was the solution and it made me feel a little relieved.
But then, I am 42 years old. Everyone I have met already has a negative
perception about me. And at that point, I had lost all the courage and boldness to ignore the wrong judgement and misinterpretations people had about me. I could feel that I had fallen into a state of rejection and shame.
Yes, the mis-interpretations are not true, but that’s how people see me
I can remember that I heard a voice say to me;
“YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. YOU ARE
WORTHLESS. YOU ARE OF NO VALUE TO ANYONE. YOU MAY BE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO BUT NO ONE WANTS YOU AND WOULD EVER WILL. JUST HATE PEOPLE TOO AND ACCEPT ALL THEY HAVE SAID AS YOUR FATE. REVENGE THEM BY SPEAKING
MALICIOUSLY ABOUT PEOPLE TOO. OR BETTER STILL,
…KILL – YOUR – SELF”.
To be honest, I yielded to that voice because I was angry at people. Though I had realised the cause of all these, it was still painful and I felt so hurt by people. Why didn’t people decide to reach out to me or ask me questions directly? Why pounce on me like I’m the worst ever?
During that period, I was always reluctant to go out. And when I do, I would generally assume that everyone looking at me is probably misinterpreting me or hates me already. It was two weeks of emotional trauma. Thereafter, I decided to suspend the hurt, pain, shame and just attend church again. Ohhhhh… Isa 43:4 “Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life”…. That was the scripture that was preached on,at that service. After the message, I could clearly see that the most important and ultimate acceptance and love is from God. It is best to immerse oneself in the love of God and rest on His acceptance.
Right there in that service, I was led by God to write down these declarations :
“ The blood of Jesus has been shed for me.
Now God loves me. I am now forgiven and redeemed.
I am no longer rejected and I am no longer condemned.
God has made all things NEW for me.
Now people are mandated by the Spirit of God to see me the way God sees me.
Old things have passed away. God continually makes things new for me everyday by His ever new daily mercies for me.
God has no records of my wrongs because His mercy and favor continually speaks for me
Abbah Father, God my Father loves me..
I receive THE LOVE OF GOD and MERCY OF GOD. I am satisfied with the mercy, love and favor of God by the reason of the shed blood of Jesus for me… now and always in Jesus name. Amen”
I hid these declarations in my heart. I fixed my thoughts on them and proclaimed them as much as I could. And the effects were amazing.
The more I proclaimed that God loves me, the more I felt myself rising and lifting up from the place of rejection, shame, hurt, pain, the whole emotional trauma and the place of being held down by Satan. I began to feel lighter and lighter. My heart became full of joy. I started to feel satisfied and complete in Christ Jesus.
Not only was my mind renewed to start seeing myself as the accepted and not the rejected, my heart was opened to love people knowing that how people see me is not dependent on them but on how God sees me.
So, on the basis that God makes all things new, I also began to pray and decree on how I want people to see me.
I did all these in Faith for about two months. Although it all happened three years ago, I HAVE NOT STOPPED CONFESSING AND RECEIVING GOD’S LOVE AND MERCY because according Isaiah 43:4, I have seen that God’s love for me is so strong that He has sent Jesus to die for me, so that He can manifest His love for me in full measure and in its FULL STRENGTH, all over my life.
At the end of the second month I was called back to work. And two weeks after I was promoted to the position of an HR or Head of Staff. Indeed God had made things new for me and still does. I also observed that everytime my colleagues or other people who had known me in the past relate with me, they relate with me like they are seeing a better version of me than the version they saw the previous day. They are always excited, relaxed and free around me.
I can’t say I have not been making mistakes or offending people but people seem not to hold my mistakes as a big deal anymore. The scent of God’s love in me and around me always covers my faults and removes the harsh effects that my offenses and wrong doings may have on people.
Truly, I have seen this scripture: JOB 33:28 “God has delivered me from going down to the pit, and I shall live to enjoy the light of life”. I have seen this scripture play out in my life because I daily acknowledge and receive the love, mercy and acceptance of God that has been paid for me, through the sacrifice of Jesus.
Please, can you say with me:
God loves me!
The blood of Jesus has been shed for me!
I am forgiven, I am accepted!
I am in Christ Jesus!
All things are made new for me!
I am favored by God and by men!
I am now accepted by God and my men!
I am blessed!
I loved.. I am no longer rejected by God and by men!
IN JESUS NAME AMEN