AMAKA: Sooooo … are you joining us?

ME: I would love to but my husband does not support it.

AMAKA: This is the issue with marriage. This is the reason why we big women don’t get married or rather remain divorced … gosh! … a man gets to control you …

ME: Are you not married?


AMAKA: is that the only reason why you can not join the club? (wears a mocking smile)

ME: (feeling intimidated) No! I just don’t have the kind of money to join. But You are married right?

AMAKA: Well, well, well, I don’t discuss my life with strangers. You become my friend when you join us. We are all like sisters you know (smiles). The money is not the issue. Is that not why you need us. I’ll transfer some good millions into your account. It’s yours to keep. Change your wardrobe and upgrade yourself. I’ll send you the address for the next meeting of the club. There you would be formally initiated … Hmm! sorry enrolled into the club.

ME: (thinks) did I just hear initiated? Well maybe it’s one of these new terms these days for formal organizations.


KYLE: (yelling) Where are you coming from  at this time of the night? Where? It’s almost 3am?

ME: (says nothing)

KYLE: (still yelling) Can’t you speak? What example are you setting for you daughter. You are … after … alright … come here …

ME: (walks silently to the room)


My wife began to keep late nights, go on long journeys, and stay away from home for weeks sometimes.

Every day I almost die of worries, wondering where my wife would be, when and if she would ever return. I kept thinking. My friends felt I was too weak for a husband. But, my wife knows its not true. I have shouted, talked and hit her thrice, which I regret doing so much because I really love her. But she is so OBSESSED, OBSESSED AND OBSESSED. She would never listen. I have also tried calling her family’s attention to it but they are not interested. She seems to be sending a lot of money to them. On my last visit to her parents, I was driven out of the house. Her relatives told me I’m only jealous of their sister’s success. They said I’m scared that she would outshine me. Or probably I’m just upset because she does not send money to my people. MAN WOMAN … JEALOUS FOOL … LAZY BONE … They called me all sort of names.

As a matter of fact I have decided to invest all my energy on the kids and my private business. I have become satisfied with seeing her face in the house once in a while, since there’s nothing else I can do. I have my life goals, and I really need to work at fulfilling them.


ME: Hello … who is this please?

CALLER: Hello sir, I am your daughter’s friend. She is in the hospital right now and the doctor just said she may not make it. I’ll text you the address sir. I think you really  need to run down here as fast as you can sir ( CALL ENDS)

That was the call that started the end of my life.

I got to the hospital but at that time Harriet had already given up. It was a painful death.

As though that was not enough, 2 weeks later my son passed out after running into a lorry on his return from a night club driving drunk.


You may be wondering where I was while all these were happening. Hmm … Let’s start from initiation into the ladies club. When I got there that night, everything was quite normal except for the flashy looking ladies. They were all dressed as though that was the very last night of their lives.

While I was looking around a lady walked up to me holding her glass of wine in her left hand. She walked slowly, just as slow as the rhythm of the background music playing.  The meeting was like a dinner party.

STRANGER: (in a sensual tone) Hiiii… New lady… you must be the lady Amaka told us about.

ME: (attempts to kneel) Good evening Ma.

STRANGER: Noo noo noo … please do not do that. I’d only accept that from low life strangers … you are one of us now or would become one soon right? Well, after the protocols have been observed, I would be your new guardian. Amaka is our leader for now. She’ll be for the next 5 years. We would not want you to bother her too much so I’ll be your new coach. I guess our friendship has already started? (smiles and still sensual). I already have you digits. I would give you a call after the meeting. OOoops … it’s time to assemble. Tick .. tick … Let’s move it.

ME: (smiles and moves to the arranged seats.)

Every seat seemed to already have names tagged to them and they were arranged in other of rank or I would say wealth and status.

LEADER: I welcome you all to this prestigious meeting … (After the welcome address). Now, before we proceed with the meeting, I want us to welcome Mrs. Carol. (smiles) Mrs. Carol, could you please step forward? Secretary please hand her the constitution.

Mrs. Carol, I welcome you once again. With you is the constitution of this club. In order to become officially one of us, you are required to read out the pledge to our hearing.

ME: Okay Ma! (feeling a really nervous I lifted up my head, looked around briefly and assured myself that I was not making the mistake of my life)

THE PLEDGE read thus:

I pledge before this group to stay committed, loyal and focused, no matter the cost. Putting her demands first before my will. And if for any reason I act contrary to any rule or disobey any law, I am ready to bear the consequence.

Mrs. Carol: Nice! Please read the 4 pillar laws on the first page …

ME: (Nods and then Flips page)


WHAT! EXCUSE ME! (I exclaimed). What are all these? What kind of laws are these? I thought this was a responsible organization?

Amaka I am indeed sorry …  You never talked to me about the rules! Noooo … I can’t do this …(turns back to leave)

LEADER: Carol! Stop there! (with an angry and unfriendly tone) Who do you think you are that you call me by my name.  How dare you? You ambitious fool!

Do you think you can just leave like that after reciting our pledge? For your information, that is our Oath! You are now one of us whether you like it or not!

ME: (shouts back) Yes, I called you Amaka. That’s who you are. And I don’t think I need this group to succeed any longer. Nonsense!

LEADER: (speaking to the thugs who rushed at Mrs. Carol for speaking rudely) … Do not worry yourself! Let me handle her myself! READ FINAL PART NOW