My name is Drew. Growing up was really really tough for me because I had a drunkard for a father. He acted very cruel and was very abusive. He abused I and my siblings very often including my mother. This really affected me negatively. I was very intelligent. But I never had confidence in myself, as a result of how he treated me. To him I was never good enough.
One day, when my classmate came to the house, he met my father sitting at the living room. And after he greeted him, my father inquired for his name, school and purpose for coming over to the house. Then after that, he called for me.
Right in my presence, he asked him his position in the last class examinations. He said “first position sir” which was true. Then he asked me mine. And I told him “8th position sir”.
That was how He began to insult me. He said if they were to kill from the 7th position in my class, they were going to start from me. He kept on speaking of how disappointed he is in me. He finally concluded by advising my friend, not to be a friend to a loser like me.
Apart from having a very wrong image of myself and seeing my self as a loser and a never good enough, I also had a terrible image of marriage. Although I didn’t like how my father treated my mother and how he beats her up for any little error she makes, I didn’t know that this image was also building up in my subconscious.
Lastly, my dad had had serious poverty mentality. Although he was rich, we never saw ourselves as rich. He preferred to store up all his money in the bank. He would never buy any nice thing for us. As a matter of fact, he only gave us money for school fees food and books. And that was is it. Even the money he gives most times were not complete. He’d often tell us that we are all wasted investments.
I observed that my classmate never came to the house again, after his encounter with my dad in our living room. So, I decided to pay him visit. That was the day, I saw a different light for the for time. I went to his house on a Saturday morning and happened to stay there till around 6pm. All through my stay, I saw another side of life completely. Then, I got to understand why my friend stopped coming to our house. So, I began to visit his house very often because their lifestyle helped a great deal, to erase the negative image that my father had formed in me. Their lifestyle also helped me to form a good and positive image about life. All the while, I had been seeing myself as good for nothing and someone who would never amount to anything in life. But they made me see that in life, there is something good in everyone whether dull or intelligent, whether disabled or fit.
They loved themselves and their parents never used curse words on them. The harshest word I heard was “Don’t be Naughty! “. There were times I met disagreements in the house but everyone acted reasonably and were very eager to restore peace and mutuality. Their parents were very disciplined. But they do this maturely, without having to damage the self image and esteem of their children.
Aside all am, here was something very unique and strange about them. They were very prayerful and had the habit of talking to them selves. Each time I tried to listen to what they were saying to themselves, I discovered that they had a regular pattern of speaking positive words.
Once, I saw their dad sitting alone at the dinning room. He was talking to himself. And he just kept repeating… “I am rich! I am full of God’s wisdom! My kids love, respect and listen to me! My wife is good to me! My wife is innovative, effective and wealthy.
I have also seen my friend confessing to himself severally saying… “I remember all things…”, “I am the best! I can’t fail! I am intelligent ”
Having observed that this was the custom of their home, I also started to imitate them. I kept speaking what I wanted to see repeatedly, not minding what I could see at that time.
Gradually but not slowly, my family began to change. My father stopped drinking and began to go to church.
Sadly, 10 years later when I was already married with a kid, I suddenly noticed that I began to beat up my wife and abuse my kids. I didn’t like it but I didn’t know how to stop it.
It then occurred to me that, someone may not be in support of an activity. But for the fact that you are around that environment, that image is often subconsciously created in you. If that image is not erased, later on you might begin to see it replayed in you.
Whenever any member of my family did anything wrong, most especially when I’m feeling stressed, I’d begin to abuse them by default. One day I felt very bad about the way I had lashed out on my family that morning. So, I broke down in tears at the office. As I was resting my head on my desk, I suddenly had a flashback to that my childhood friend’s family.
I jumped up from my chair, locked the door of my office and immediately began to confess positively. I began to use my words to correct my abusive habits towards my family.
I continued to do that daily. And not so long after, that image that had formed in me was replaced with that of a lovely father and a husband full of wisdom. You have the power to create in your tongue. Do not say ” I HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE AND IT’S NOT WORKING”
You should build what you want to see, or condition that situation with your confession. Consciously make confessing right a lifestyle, and you’d watch those negative images that had been formed over the years deliberately or passively, destroyed immediately. THE END
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