…continued from Part 3 . All through her narration, her knees were still on the ground. So I made her sit and then I told her that she may have had good intentions but the truth of the matter is that she was actually letting out her self hate and hatred for life on these kids. On hearing this she began to cry.
I asked her how she would feel if her husband maltreated her in the way she does to her kids and she said that she would feel not loved. I asked again, if her husband treats her with love and she said Yes. Then I asked if her husband corrects her and if he does it with love and she said Yes.
Then I told her that she can never compare a training from a mom and that from a stranger because both of them can never show love to a child the same way.
Every child sees their mom as everything and are 100% dependent on their parents. A child may cope with ill treatments from strangers but the one that comes from a parent can be very devastating to that child.
That child may end up becoming worse than a child who was spoilt because he or she would become hate and rejection driven in anything they do.
There is a difference between spoiling a child and loving a child. Spoiling a child means condoning naughtiness from that child and not taking effective corrective methods that suits the child’s personality; one that the child can relate to, to ensure that he drops whatever naughty attitude he may seem to display.
Every child have their unique personality. Some are very emotional while some seem very tough etc Learn your child’s interests and tow that line when you need to correct.
But never allow any other method replace “talking”. Always talk to your children not like a teacher but like a parent who loves and believes in them.
2 years later, I came into town and decided to go to my old neighborhood to make my hair. Vera was amazed to see me and she was full of gratitude for the talk I had with her concerning the way she treated her children. She told me that she also discovered that most times all we do is correct and never get to support these tender ones all the way through the entire correction process.
Most kids are not really disobedient or hardened per say. They respect their parents and want to do what their parents want them to do but we end up flogging them and beating them up without making out time to teach and guide them on how to go about the desired change that we want.
You help them become more mature when you guide them to willingly do what they should have done by compulsion.
As she kept talking, her three children who had just returned from school walked into the salon. They greeted their mom with joy and ran towards me, thanking me for changing their mom.
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