“… The existence of darkness is as a result of light that has refused to shine…. “ This was her only response to me, after I popped the question.
Her response really got me thinking. I was curious to know how that statement actually relates to my question. Well, I finally summoned courage to call and ask for a formal meeting, so we can talk. Fortunately, she agreed.
On the day of the meeting, I arrived with a long list of questions. I was so curious. I felt like I urgently needed to find answers.
So, I started by popping up the most pressing question.
Me: Ma, The last time I ran into you at the grocery store, I told you that I was confused about my purpose in life. I told you that I feel drawn to some works of life, but been a Christian has limited me from these things. Then, I asked if you could direct me on how to find purpose within the walls of Christianity?.
Ma, your response got me even more confused. I didn’t seem to understand how it related to the question.
Oti Stories: Okay, I promise to make you understand my response and why I feel it’s the perfect answer to your question. Before then, I’d really like you to go into details. What are the things you are drawn to? How has Christianity limited you? What do you mean by “within the walls of Christianity”?.
Me: While I was growing up ma, I had dreams. I saw myself doing things that would redefine and transform different sectors of the society. I still recall how I would sit for hours and just imagine how the fashion industry can be improved, how the educational system can become better etc. I had alot of innovative ideas. And deep within I knew I wasn’t just thinking things through or imagining things. I knew those ideas were given to me to execute them.
Aside the inflow of ideas, I also had passion for these areas. Within, I felt drawn to work towards and look forward to the full execution of those ideas. So, I began to develop myself in those areas and do lots of researches
Oti Stories: How old were you when you began to feel this way?
Me: 10 yrs old ma.
Oti Stories: Great. So at your present age, what have you done so far concerning these ideas?
Me: Ma. That is the issue.
Oti Stories : How?
Me: I don’t want to sin. I don’t want to offend God. I don’t want to gain the world and lose my soul.
Oti Stories: Wow… So how has that got anything to do with taking steps toward to your passion?
Me: Alright, I’ll speak up ma.
I have passion and ideas for fashion design, song writing, music, acting, politics, writing and branding. I was so passionate about these areas. I was waiting to be done with school, so that I can begin to take steps. I had it all planned in my diary. I had long notes of my ideas and strategies.
I began to study and take down notes on all these area of interest, right from the time I was 10 yrs old. I read magazines, read articles, watched shows etc.. And every time I did, I took notes of everything I could do to improve on that area. I even have drawings and sketches ma.
Oti Stories: Did you come here with any of them?
Me: Yes, I came here with a few of them ma. Can I show them to you?
Oti Stories: Yes please.
(After spending about 30 mins of flipping through the pages of the diaries)
Do you really plan to do all these? From what I can see here, this is beyond innovation. This is divine. These ideas and plans are out this world. You are truly gifted. Now, what exactly is the problem?
Me: While I was in the university, I got preached to and gave my life to Christ. I began to attend fellowship very often. I got really committed. There, we were told that a Christian is not supposed to go into alot of things. We were told that it is best to live a peaceful and quiet life, so we would not get too entangled with the world. My plans were not meant to be under the canopy of Christian fashion designer, or gospel singer, or gospel beats or gospel anything etc. Because of that, I felt my plans were already out to benefit the world and not God. Now, I’m done with the university and I’m still praying to God to show me my purpose in life. I want to know what I would feel fulfilled doing and also within the walls of Christianity. I don’t want to go into anything that would make me sin.
I was told that when I find purpose, I’d have peace on my inside. Although, I have had ideas within the walls of Christianity, I really don’t feel fulfilled doing any of them.
Oti Stories: What are the ideas you’ve had?
Me: Ma, they had to do with getting a regular high paying job and living a regular life, that is free from been contaminated with the systems of this world. Again, at this point, I am also aware that for anyone to get to a certain height in this world, you must belong to some secret societies.
Oti Stories: Well, you are right. But it is so because light has refused to shine. Christians have refused to go into sectors because of fear of losing their salvation. This fear is not of God. It is a lie which Satan had told to Christians, so that he can dominate and have full control of alot of sectors. Whereas, God has blessed Christians to be fruitful multiply and to dominate the earth.