This is my confession …

I am a Christian and I’m God fearing but there are some certain things I did that have cost me all that God had given to me freely. I robbed my self of God’s blessings and I’d be very glad if you’d read and learn from this story.

As a fervent Christian, I was really committed to the Missions but there was one thing missing.

I was sold out to the Lord not minding the stages of life and before I knew it I was 35years old. I wasn’t married. I know you’d wonder why but, let that be a story for another day.

Fast forward to 5 years later, I eventually God married to a widower of 4 children (2 boys and 2 girls)

Both girls were already married leaving the 2 boys who were already of marriageable ages.

6 months after my wedding, my husband informed me that one of his son’s who had been in courtship for about a year has made up his mind to get married in the next 3 months.

On hearing that, my heart raced in fear. All the while, I had been very happy that the female children were married and hated the fact that, not up to a year of my marriage, a woman would be  married into the family.

I gave it a thought for 2 days and then decided to stop the marriage.

I cooked my husband’s favorite dish, and went to him. I told him that I was so glad about the news and began to ask him a few questions so that I could find faults and bring out points why the marriage should not hold.

My husband told me that his son is self employed and that his bride to be was a final year student at the university. I enquired of her age and I was told that She was just 21 years old. I was furious inside. To me a small girl would now come and rub shoulders with me as though we were age mates just because we married the same year. I was scared of intimidation and competition.

But I didn’t show it out rather I marveled like I was very happy for her that she was marrying at a very agile age.

Then I waited till my husband had eaten the food half way before I rose up the issue…..  As though I was really concerned, I suggested to my husband that I felt there was a need for him to talk to his son to wait for some years. He was surprised at my suggestion but I quickly rushed it up….

“…Your son should be able to cater for all the marriage rites and also have enough money to carry them through, after the wedding. We just spent 2million naira on my wedding and I would not want us to spend any more, till we can recover that money.

The girl doesn’t not have a job and It may stress us financially if your son runs into financial issues….”

Yes. those were good reasons but built on my selfish desires. My husband actually did speak to his son but unfortunately for me he did not yield. And before I knew it, it was already 1 month to the wedding so I called on the bride to be, and decided to make friends with her. I saw that she was really young, soft and not maturedly built physically. So I did a little research on groom to be. I discussed with some of their family members and close friends and was able to gather some of his  weaknesses that I felt she may not have seen.

A week to the wedding I told my husband that I wanted to discuss with the bride to tell her some of the groom’s weaknesses and then counsel her on how to deal with them so that she’d be prepared.

He frowned at it but I didn’t listen. I went ahead. But I was surprised that she even knew a lot more about his weaknesses than his own father. When I saw that plans had failed to stop the wedding, I decided to buy her over. I gave her 400k to complete every of the pending wedding expenditures.

On the wedding day, I was full of jealousy as her saw her looking young and radiant.  “…Me with all my commitment got married at 40years old while her who doesn’t even know her left from right is getting married…” I murmured under my breath

Anytime she came visiting I always made her work for me heavily like a house help but it was not enough for me. I wanted her home to break so that people could see that marriage is for my age not hers. So I began to instruct her. She was loyal to me, and took me as her husband’s biological mother because she never knew of my bad intentions. She didn’t stand her ground as a married woman and I took advantage of that. I always suggested things for her to do in her home like been very stubborn, standing her ground even if it meant her quarrelling with her husband. But I never saw the results I was looking for so I asked her if she’d been following my instructions and she told me she wanted a peaceful home and wasn’t comfortable anytime they had any misunderstanding and that she’s fine with paying sacrifices just to maintain peace.

I told her that she was a fool and that misunderstandings are time she could even be committed to God and that during the period her husband rejects her food she could use that period to fast and pray and grow her spiritual life.

But it seemed that she wasn’t really as young and immature as I thought. Looks can be really deceiving. This girl stopped visiting me and rarely took my calls after that day.