On that particular cold and quiet evening, I sat at he balcony of my house drenched in tears.
It was around 8:30 pm and the kids were already in bed. That day, I felt like I could not take it
any longer. I began to wonder when in would all end and how it would eventually end. I had completely lost my peace of mind and hope was fast slipping away from my heart. I wondered if it was life that was been unfair to me or if it was God who was actually been very unkind to me.
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I work with an agricultural firm from 7:30 am to 5:00 pm yet there was nothing to show for it.
Rather I had to go from one struggle to another. It all began 8 years after our wedding and since then I had held on to my belief that the sun would rise again for me. At first, he began to treat me with less value. He stopped listening to me. He began to regard anything that comes from my mouth as either foolishness or stupidity.
It was not so in the first 8 years of our marriage. My husband was one who treated me with great love, care and honour. He wouldn’t even venture into anything without seeking my advice. He always helped with the kids and would even give me extra money for self upkeep, not minding that I had a good paying job.
Then suddenly, he began to treat me in a strange way. Sometimes he would not talk to me for days.
Whenever I asked him what the issue was, he would tell me that he needed some personal time. That I bought into until he stopped eating my food. He started by skipping breakfast, then gradually he began to refuse dinner.
This went on for about 2 years. So I began to feel that something was wrong with me because I observed that he related well with the kids.
When there is a financial demand that had to do with my personal need, he would refuse to bring out the money. But when it came to the kids, he was more than willing to care for their financial needs.
Well, because if this, I didn’t really get very bothered. In fact, I had a degree of peace seeing that he cared for the kids.
So, I began to work on myself. I started with losing weight, then my dress sense, my hair
and then I began to work at improving my house management and skills.
After some months, he began to normalise again. It was a great relief to me on seeing that my efforts were eventually paying off.
Then one day, as we were eating dinner, he suddenly got angry. He got upset that I ate the particular meat that he had in mind to eat.
At first, I felt it was only a joke, so i laughed at it. On seeing my comic reaction, he got up, grabbed his glass of water and poured it on me.
For some reasons, I didn’t sill get the message. Rather, I just laughed. and that was it. He pounced on me and the next time I opened my eyes, I found myself lying in the hospital. I stayed there for three days and not one day did he come visiting. It was Gladys, my step sister, who took care of me
until I was discharged.
That was the very first time my husband had hit me since we got married and that was the beginning of domestic violence in my home.
He went back to his former attitude. Then he began to sleep out some days and come home occasionally. After a while, I got tired of fighting and insisting on him to behave normally. So I decided to seek for counsel. I didn’t want to speak with my Pastor’s wife because I felt if my husband and I later get to settle our differences, I and my marriage would lose taste and respect before her. I felt it would make me feel ashamed before her and that I would be unable to boast about my marriage in front of her anymore. I always loved been admired so, I often try to avoid anything that would reduce my value in the sight of any authority figure. So I began to search for someone who was matured spiritually to help me and also someone who I do not have a close rapport. Someone that do not get to see me often.
Finally, I was able to locate a christian relationship blogger. I contacted her and sought for counsel. Here was her reply:
what does the bible say about your marriage as His Child?
What are your covenant rights as a Daughter of God?
I know this can be frustrating, but you need to see this as a plot to distract you.
Your husband is not your problem.
The devil is trying to shift your focus, steal your joy, and ground your marriage.
Stop him! Take your authority and insist on your covenant rights.
Give me one bible verse. If you cannot i’ll give you the most common.
With one word from God, this would be a child’s play.
Meanwhile, might I add that you take time to go through my posts on the website,
listen to my audios and occupy yourself with good stuff.
Thoughts are things. They occupy real estate in your mind.”
So I took down the scriptures that she gave me and started to look at them instead of the issue. I began to pray them and focus on them.
I was now so sure that as long as it is God’s Word, He has done it already. That afternoon, my husband returned home for the first time in the last seven days.
Despite he was still wearing a long face as usual, he seemed a little more relaxed and he ate his meal for the first time in the last 30 days. I was so excited and I felt a lot relieved until the bombshell finally struck.
While my husband was taking his shower, the light of his phone came on so I grabbed it to see what it was. Luckily, I discovered that his phone was unlocked and that the light came on as a result of a Whatsapp message notification. At first, I intended to put down the phone but after seeing her name, I got tempted to confirm if it was the same Gladys I knew. So, I opened the whatsapp message and then checked the profile picture to confirm. Lo and behold, it was Gladys my step sister and closest friend. On checking the contents of their conversation, I discovered that she had been the one behind all this. She has been sleeping with my husband. To crown it all, she visits me once or twice every week to comfort and encourage me with regards to my husband’s change in attitude.
It all looked like a mystery to me. I could not help but question why she was doing this to me and how she managed to get a hold of my husband.
I felt so heart broken, discouraged and bitter. I placed the phone back to where my husband had kept it and then raced to the balcony to process my thoughts so I could think of the next steps
to carry out. Not long after, my husband picked a few of his belongings and left as usual. That moment, I felt like I could not take it any longer. I began to wonder when it would all end and how it would eventually end. I had lost my peace of mind completely and hope was fast slipping away from my heart. I wondered if it was life that was been unfair to me or if it was God who was actually been very unkind to me.
I grabbed my phone in an attempt to call Gladys but something withheld me. After about 30 mins., I remembered the christian relationship blogger. So, I went back to read her previous counsel to me. After that, I went in to pick up the book where I had written the scriptures she gave me. I opened the book but I couldn’t concentrate while praying. I was just too restless. I was very bitter and confused. I closed the book, and then returned to the balcony.
There a lot of negative thoughts came into my head. I thought of poisoning her when next she’d come visiting, I thought of divorcing my husband, I thought of running off with all his money and properties just to punish him, I thought burning all his certificates and important documents,
I thought of sending guys to beat her up and rape her etc. I tried to calm my mind with a soft drink but it didn’t seem to help in any way. Finally, I decided to contact the christian relationship blogger again.
I told her about my finding out that, my step sister and most trusted friend, had been behind it all.
Here was her reply:
Hello sweetheart, Take up those scriptures. Rise up in your spirit and see what will happen. There is no need to confront anybody. Do not take the wrong moves. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
Take your place in your closet. That’s all!
She has crossed a boundary. Marriage is a covenant between God, you and your husband. God respects covenant and anyone who tries to break and cut into a covenant dies.
Concerning your current restless and upset state of mind…..
As strange as it sounds, you cannot overcome a situation with sadness, rage and anger.
You can only overcome in and with a joyful spirit.
Even as you cry those tears, guard and maintain a joyful spirit.
Even as you go through that hurt, pain and betrayal, guard and maintain a joyful spirit.
Even as you crave for God to avenge for your sake and fight for you, guard and maintain a joyful spirit.
What should you be joyful about in all these?
Be joyful that that even in all these, God has made a way through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the shedding of His blood.
On the ground of this sacrifice, you have hope for a turn around.
How do I become joyful now?
By thanking God. Just remember all he has done for you one after the other and thank Him.Thank Him for the sacrifice of Jesus
and for all the testimonies you have locked up within your mind. It is not enough to be mindful of what God has done for you. You also need to practice giving Him thanks always. Most especially in situations like this.
Once again, If we trust God, we would rejoice and let him do His work. Start rejoicing and giving thanks. The turn around would amaze even you. Praise is warfare. Have a nice day!
So, I began to thank God for everything I could remember right from my childhood till date. I just kept listing and counting everything I was grateful for and giving Him thanks for them one after the other.
It did not take long at all. In about an hour time, like an inflow of fresh refreshing water, joy began to creep into my heart. The pain, hurt and all that, didn’t actually go away one bit but, that joy kept filling me up and giving me strength to take the bull by the horn.
I took out the book where I had written the scriptures again and I began to read them out one after the other. I said them out loud, I believed them, I thanked God for them and I decreed and made declarations based on them. Deep within it felt like my sword had been fully sharpened
as a result of the joyful spirit in me. I could actually feel those scriptures cutting through barriers and tearing down unseen walls and barriers.
I kept doing this. I was determined to continue, no matter how long it takes till I begin to see results. After one week, my husband came home looking terrified and tattered. He ran straight to me and then he pulled me to the bedroom.
Right there in the bedroom he brought out something from his bag. It was a charm with our pictures tied to it. On my picture was written: “Everything that belongs to her is mine. Her husband, children, wealth, peace and life are are all mine!”
I asked him how he got it and then he told me that, he was in an hotel room with his female companion when the object suddenly dropped from the ceiling with a loud noise. He said after the strange object fell to the floor his lady companion suddenly ran mad and ran into the street naked.
That was it. My husband returned home his normal, loving and caring self. Gladys is still mad till today.
Please this story is not aimed at making you careful with those you are closed to. Rather, it is aimed at teaching you the most effective way to handle discomforting issues, the need to maintain a joyful spirit despite what you may be going through and how to actually maintain a joyful spirit.
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